Stop whining. Do what you say you’re going to do. Don’t abuse alcohol or drugs. Don’t put others down to make yourself feel better. Stop worrying about what others think, they don’t matter. Be kind to the Earth, Animals and People who can do nothing for you. Give more than you take. Work hard and provide for yourself or family. Stop expecting others to carry you. Find your passion and live it. Own at least one nice suit. Pay your debts. Keep your drama off of public forums. Your problems are no bigger than anyone else’s and frankly it makes you look like a sissy. Take care of your body. Pay your taxes, everybody else does, you’re not special. Keep a daily journal so you can see how far you’ve come. Hug your mother every chance you get. Be a positive influence to those around you. Do something daily to make the world a better place to live. Don’t make excuses. Accept responsibility for your actions, life, finances, relationships, etc. Hold your head high in any situation. You’re a man damn it. Act like one. More later. Meeting time. Oh…Did I mention, STOP WHINING?!?

Because of my OCD, I always lock my car, put the key in my pocket and then pull on the handle to make sure the car is locked. I was very angry because my car wouldn’t lock. Every time I re-locked it and pulled the handle, the door would open. I went to the dealer and explained how the car wouldn’t lock. He nodded, looked at me and said,”You do realize you have keyless entry?”

Sounds like a joke, right? Nope. Actually happened.

The lesson is simple. Had I prepared by reading the manual (although that would have been girly and unmanly), I would have known about this.

Instead I chose to get upset. Let it put me in a bad frame of mind.

My new rule is: Take a deep breath, assess the situation, then react accordingly.

Hey All!

Sorry for the lapse in blog updates. This last month has been CRAZY busy!

Started the month on the road. Out doing comedy clubs. Really getting back to my roots as a performer. Got home from an extended trip late Superbowl Sunday. Had a few days at home, then it was back on the road for a big corporate show for Monsanto.

Have had a lot of time sitting in hotel rooms, airports and on planes the last couple of months. Really gave me some time to think about directions and long term goals. Also had lots of time to read good books. If you haven’t read “The Compound Effect” by Darren Hardy, I highly recommend it!

Was able to reconnect with some old friends. That was a nice change. One of the things I tend to do is avoid other people when I’m not working. I know it’s weird but I feel that when I’m on stage, I have to open myself up to others so much, I need to be an introvert off stage. Thats something I am working to change…Baby Steps!

Started working on my one man play. It has been a project that I have been wanting to do for years, was just too lazy to start writing. The working title is “Silicone & Cyanide”. It’s a story about my life and relationships, emotional maturity and insecurities. Talk about opening yourself up! I’m basically talking for 90 minutes about what a messed up individual I am and about the poor choices I make when it comes to relationships. Should be interesting.

I leveraged myself and put a deposit down on a theater. Now I have to get it done and perform it or I lose a substantial deposit. Gonna make it happen!

Was able to reach a new level in my BodyByVi business. Helped a lot of people grow their incomes and was able to get a few more people into BMW’s this month. Thats pretty exciting!!

I know…I Know…I’m rambling! One last thing before I sign off:

When I woke up this morning, I realized for the first time in my life, that I am in a unique position. I never have to do anything I don’t want to do. I am beyond blessed and grateful for each and every opportunity and person that has come into my life. Thank you all! Talk soon!

“Who dares, Wins”

 

What an amazing day it’s been! I got to do something I have always wanted to do. Really cool!

Why was I able to do it?

Because after pushing myself, stepping outside my comfort zone and doing what needed to be done, I could finally afford to!

I think milestones need to be celebrated! Too often in my life I have worked hard, sacrificed and achieved the goal, only to be so focused on the next big thing, that I didn’t take the time to appreciate the present.

Take the time to enjoy what you have accomplished. Makes it much, much sweeter!

I had a meeting today at 3PM.

All last week I was dreading this meeting. In my head, I knew exactly what was going to happen.

Yep. It was all planned out. There was going to be an argument followed by accusations and threats. I even imagined myself storming out.

Ordinarily, I would have no problem expressing my opinions. This was different. This meeting was with someone I consider a mentor and a friend, not just a business partner.

So, I get to the predetermined location at the predetermined time. Ready for a knock down drag out argument that wouldn’t have done anyone any good.

Much to my surprise, I was the only one expecting an argument!

After speaking for a while, we both came to a mutual agreement. I won’t lie and say that I got my way because I didn’t. That said, the working relationship wasn’t damaged beyond repair.

You see, even though 2 people in an organization don’t agree, as long as we are both shooting for the same goal, what is best for the group as a whole, we can come to an understanding.

I was anticipating a war, what I got was a lesson in reality.

How TheAngrySheep got his “MBA” from a gangster rapper

 

 

So, there I was, 36 years old, have a multimillion-dollar a year company, driving a Lamborghini to work, and “popping bottles” in the clubs like a retarded monkey. Life is goooooood! I’m thinking I have the world by the shorthairs. Sounds great right?!? Not so fast my little sheeplets!

 

Fast forward 5 years (insert freaky time travel music here), I find myself upside down on a damn mortgage I cant afford, what little amount of money I had saved from the glory days was gone, my stable of cars had gone from Aston Martins, Porsche 911’s and Italian supercars, to a Mini Cooper and a Jeep with bald tires.

 

My friends who were more than happy to be around me when I was paying the way and hadn’t a worry in the world, had disappeared! My “entourage” was gone! What happened to my legions of  “friends”? Is it possible that they were just using me for what I had and what I could do for them? Say it isn’t so!!

 

Anyway, now my house is going to be foreclosed on, my business is inhaling its final breath, my incredibly hot and shallow girlfriend is reminding me that her previous boyfriends all had lot’s of money, lived in much bigger houses than the one I am about to lose and that when all is said and done, I should be grateful that she is hanging out with a loser like me.

 

REALLY? What did I do so wrong? I know I’m an idiot and made lots of mistakes, but do I deserve this? All these bad things that are happening to me, I was following “The Plan” dammit! Do I deserve this?!?

 

The simple answer is….wait for it….wait for it….YES…. I deserved everything bad that came my way! What? Did you expect TheAngrySheep to blame his misfortune on someone else? Not going to happen. I did it and I accept the consequences of my idiotic behavior. Do you have any idea how freeing that is?

 

Want to hear more? Read on….

 

What the hell happened??

 

Here is what happened…. I bought into the status quo. Without even realizing it, I had become the one thing I never wanted to be… A SHEEP!!  A follower!!

 

This is the GREAT plan in no specific order…

Settle down/Start a family

Buy a house

Start a business/Get a job

Scrimp and save for that once a year trip to Vegas or Disneyland

Choke on massive debt buying things to impress people you don’t like

Fund a 401k or IRA by throwing money at something you really don’t understand

Pay your taxes like a good American

Blah

Blah

Blah

 

Get the picture?

 

But wait! There’s more! Here come’s the “best” part:

 

When you are old, tired and unable to enjoy what life has to offer, you sell everything you have, move to Boca Raton, buy a condo and wait to die. Leaving behind whatever you have been fortunate enough to save, hoard or gather to your ungrateful children and grandkids. You remember them? The ones who always forget to call? Yep!

 

AHHHHHHHH! The American Dream!!!  Sounds great doesn’t it? Where do I sign?

 

Well, we’ve made it this far together. For some reason, you have kept reading. Is it because you also have made mistakes? Is it because you can relate to what the Sheepster is laying down? Can you dig it?

 

Listen, TheAngrySheep would rather light a candle, than curse your darkness! (A really famous guy once said something like that. I think it was John Goodman in “Raising Arizona”. Great movie BTW. But I digress…)

 

Did you think for a minute that I would drag you through all of that, pour my soul out in written form, depress you like a nasty gram from the IRS and not give you anything in return? Well, did you?!?

 

Not a chance my furry 2 legged Sheeple friends. That’s not how TheAngrySheep rolls!!

 

 

HERE is the GOOD news…Are YOU ready for it?

 

I decided enough was enough! I decided I wasn’t going to live like this anymore! Right here, right now, it was time to make a change and take action!!!

 

We will get more into detail later but I’m going to tell you this once, so pull up a chair, crack a cold one and listen up…If I did it, so can you. If I, the self appointed leader of TheAngrySheep revolution could take action and create what I wanted, so can you.

 

You see, as much as I hate to admit it, I am no different than anyone reading this. I came from nothing, I had no special advantages in life, and no one gave me anything. I made a decision. That’s right, the first of many but that one decision changed my course, my life, and my destiny. What was it, you ask?

 

I decided that I wanted more. I wanted more out of my relationships, my finances, and my quality of life. I was no longer willing to settle. I would do whatever it took as long as it was legal, ethical, harmed no people, animals or the planet, fit within my moral compass, and made me feel good about me.  Do you get where I am coming from? I decided to step up and take ACTION!!

 

You were expecting something else? What, that’s not good enough for you?

 

Fine! Read on!

 

Cutting to the proverbial chase in 3…2…1…

 

Now, I’m following my dreams! Money concerns are a thing of the past! My relationships are empowering and uplifting! My debt is gone! I look at my bank accounts and smile instead of crying like a baby sheep. (I know, its called a lamb, but it doesn’t get my point across)

 

Are you happy with where you are in life? I doubt it since you took the time to read this far! Do you want more? Of course you do!

 

This is not a magic bullet! There is no “one way” for everyone! TheAngrySheep is here to provide thoughts and ideas, mantras and philosophies! Take what you want and discard what doesn’t fit you!

 

The main thing is DO SOMETHING NOW!!! Did you hear that? I used all caps, which means TheAngrySheep is yelling to get a point across!  DO SOMETHING NOW!!!! Take action! Burn the boats! Life is a garden, DIG IT!! Who dares wins! All that good stuff!!

 

Look, I realize I never got to the part about the rapper! Patience my friends. Patience. That’s part two of this story…

 

Lets talk soon!

So, here I am. Sitting in the lounge in Calgary airport.

I have been delayed, rebooked, rerouted and stranded. No big deal!

Today I was informed that something I thought was true, was in fact not. No big deal!

You see, I made a decision over the last couple of days. I decided that no matter what happens, I’m going to be happy. No matter what.

Plans change, decisions do not. I’m not sure who first said that but they are very powerful words! What if you implemented that concept in your daily living?

 

Hello Everyone!

Thanks for taking the time to visit Twistedcomedy.com! I hope you will find many things that interest you as you cruise my world.

Whether you’re an old friend, new friend or maybe just someone who stumbled across my site, I am glad you’re here!

My goal in 2012 is to blog often about happenings with the show, my life, my dog and any other thing that I happen to want to blog about.

Some blogs I will be talking about quitting smoking, weight loss, stage hypnosis training or some of my other businesses. Maybe I’ll talk about show structure, motivational speaking, corporate entertainment, etc. Who knows? Sometimes, I’ll just be rambling!

I hope you stop back often. Please know that I am grateful for you, no matter who you are! It’s been an amazing ride so far and things are only getting better!

Much Love to all!

MJ

“If you don’t like something, change it. Don’t complain.” – Maya Angelou